Monday, October 31, 2011

Second Entry: Religion and School

Many have been asking what my culture is. I am half Moroccan (Mother) and half Syrian (Father). I am first generation here in the states was born in Houston, Texas. My parent's divorced when I was two and I moved around a lot throughout my childhood due to my step dad being in the military. I can say that I pretty much have been to every state except for Hawaii, North Dakota, South Dakota, and North Carolina. I did enjoy seeing new places but I did not enjoy going to 13 different elementary schools (A few private and most public). Which I think has now affected me in my adulthood. I never had time to grow up around friends and build solid relationships, so now it makes it very easy for me to walk away from friendships and intimate relationships. The longest friend I have been friends with is coming on 11 years and still going strong @Laurel_Lee143. I also did a lot of traveling and experienced many different cultures growing up, which I am very accepting to new environments.
My mother strongly believed that private schooling was the best schooling no matter what the religious beliefs were. So I did not have any choice when it came to picking out which school I wanted to attend. My mother was a Muslim although she did not practice the religion but she definitely embedded it into my head. I knew that although my family was Arab and it's natural to be a Muslim, I just didn't want to be that religion by choice. I asked a lot questions about the Muslim religion so that I could get a better idea as to why they prayed the way that they did and what the beliefs were. So I would read to Quran and just watch what everyone did. I learned that the Arab culture is not the religion and I learned that terrorists do not show a good example of what Islam is really about. Those are two opposite spectrum's that have many American's questioning the religion. Please remember  that Islam prohibits terrorism and the men bombing learned the wrong way as children and that is all they were brought up to know and do. Suicide is the biggest sin in the Islam culture! Women pray behind men so that the guys don't stare at their asses, and women cover up because beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I speak Arabic but I cannot write or read it.
 The first private school was Catholic where I was baptized there, second Lutheran private school, third Mormon, fourth Christian, and fifth Muslim schooling. I disliked attending any private schools!!!! But I did learn one thing  haha. In the end, all the religions are the same. We are all trying to get to one goal! Some do it through prophets, Mary, Jesus, reincarnation, etc....But it is all the same! Now that is what has left me confused, which religion should I be now as an adult? Well conclusion...none! I believe in a higher power and I believe that the Earth is your schooling. If you are a good person and if you do good to others no matter how much you masturbate, how lazy you are, how messy your home is, how bad you do at your day job. You are still a good person at the end of the day and that is all that matters! We all go through struggles in our lives and we will continue to have ups and down throughout our entire life, but it up to YOU to make the change and it's up to YOU to drive yourself to your own accomplishments. You can pray all day but you have to pray and also do something about it for yourself. Not pray and sit and wait for it to come to you.
 Thank you for taking the time to read this entry.

Signing off,
Nakita Lynn

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Very first entry...

As a child I grew up around a lot of highly educated, but not so street smart people. I would sit back and observe my family, friends, and strangers. I enjoyed watching people and their demeanor. Call me weird but it definitely made me who I am today. I learned I could easily get along with the most stubborn, selfish, and self-centered person. But I could also get along with the most genuine, loving, caring natured person. 
My first job was at the age of 15 where I became a hostess at a restaurant. I thought I was so cool! Being able to go to work and make minimum wage for a full 4-6 hours, 3-5 days a week. Gosh I felt special! When I received my very first paycheck I thought to myself "I should make a copy and frame this. Than go shopping and get useless crap that I don't need!"I came up with all the wonderful things that I could do with $236.00 that I made every 2 weeks lmao, but...well I ended up giving my first paycheck to my mother and all the rest of my checks to my mother. She didn't " need" the money, but somehow I had the words going through my head repeating to me "She gave you life now pay her back." She took my checks and would pay back her monthly student loans with it. Yes it did irritate me at times when my friends wanted to go out, but I opted to stay home because I didn't have money, although I could have asked my mother. But I didn't want to be a burden, so I would just avoid going out most of the times. I love my mom and I would do anything for her.
I have experienced different positions such as property management, than to real estate with teaching belly dancing part-time, to going live on cam online. I know how it feels to bust my ass to make little money and for that, I appreciate the smaller things in life. I also appreciate how it is to work so little and make great money. I thank God everyday for what he has provided me and what is yet to come in my future. I know what I want, and I am willing to wait for it until the time is right. And YES I do believe in God and YES I do masturbate just like you all do.

Signing off,
Nakita Lynn